I am so awful. And I can do nothing about it.

I have an elder sister, who got married about two years back.
His family treated her very badly, insulted my parents throughout the 2 years of their marriage.
Now they are trying a patch-up.
As a part of the process, they want to take a vacation down South, and visit me for a few days.

The best thing for me to do is shut-up and let this pass. After all, its just a few days.

But I hate this man. I don't want him in my house.
I want to tell my sister to not come over.
And I probably will.

I must be the worst sister ever!

I know life is not perfect when...

1. When people whose blogs I read do not update it and I open their page to a post I have already read.
Worse if there is a new post, but only one line long.

2. When I keep waiting for the guy I have my 11 o'clock tea with, and he comes late to work and tell me that he doesn't want to have tea.
Worse if he invites his friend to join us without asking me.

3. When people say things I have just been thinking.
Worse if I can't even repeat it as well as them.

4. When I buy a book that was strongly recommended but I can't read it beyond a few pages because it is very boring.
Worse when same people see that book on my shelf and start raving about it all over again.

5. When I finish making a sketch and a couple of days later I realize that something could be slightly changed to make it better (leaving me with a feeling that it would never be perfect).
Worse if I notice it after it has been framed.

6. When I develop the pictures from a special trip and most of them are not good, because of the photography experiments I kept trying.
Worse if it was an expensive, overseas place that I would never visit again.

7. When I go to an empty house and miss being with the only guy I ever cared about.
Worse when I know that he is home with his pregnant wife.

Does it happen to you?

What is the true sign of friendship,

being around to help and console,
when friends are in trouble
or
being truly happy without any envy,
when friends are doing well?

There are people, for whom I would do anything if they need help. But I do not share their happiness the same way as I share their sorrows. Their tragedies give company to my own troubles, but their happiness makes me lonely.

Comfortably numb

London hit headlines second day in a row. Only the mood was vastly different.

As expected, London blasts got its fair place in the discussion over tea at work. What I did not expect was the reaction of some of my colleagues to it.

"Only 45 dead. Whats the big deal? In India so many people die everyday."

So is this how we react to a disaster?
Why should our reaction to a tragedy be based on the number of people who died in it?

Whether its 45 or 45000, they were all innocent and didn't deserve to die. They probably had no opinion on the issues for which they were killed. They probably didn't even vote or like the leaders any better than the people who planted these bombs.

Has the importance of human life reduced for us, because we hear people losing their lives in our country everyday due to heat, rain, cold or blasts?

Gill te Guitar

I have a new favorite in music.

I avoided buying his album all this time, since I presumed its one of those things that people are scared to criticize and hence it just keeps getting bigger. But then a friend bought me this album, not knowing my aversion to anything that gets too popular too soon.

So this Monday when I was driving back from work, I put this cassette in, because the only other option I had was an old, dying U2 album that I have listened to so many times, I even know the duration of the pause between two songs and I can sing along the entire cassette without missing a single beat. So I thought let me try this artist for a change.

As the music flowed, I was in no hurry to get out of the Hosur Road traffic. I wanted to listen to the entire album and taste all songs. I ached to remember the lyrics so I could sing along.

Music was simple, lyrics even better. Now when I listen to his songs, I feel sad that I'll never experience the joy of listening to him for the first time.

Artist I am raving about, is Rabbi.

I was myself yesterday

When was the last time you met someone for the first time and ...

felt like you have known them forever?

Nah! not so dramatic.
But just felt comfortable, conversation flowed and it was not a question/answer session. None of those what are you reading, watching, listening whatever questions.

I met two guys yesterday for the first time. We spent 3 hours at Koshy's. They were not prospective dates, employers or relatives, so I had no pressure to look good or sound intelligent or be nice. They were not my friends and knew little about me, so there was no emotional load sharing. We did not meet through a common interest group, so conversation was not confined to any one area.

I was going to meet them for tea, expecting it to last 30 minutes and then out of there. I already had plans to meet other friends later. But I stayed for 4 cups of tea and I felt honest, though my stomach was a little queasy and I badly wanted to pee.

Not to mention, there was no concern about many missed calls from the friends I had planned to meet.

I may never see these guys again, but that might be for the best.
It cannot get better.

Pessimist or Practical?

My life has been going well.
Ok, let me rephrase that. My life is spinning out of my control but it seems to be spinning in the right direction.
My ex has got in touch with me again - and well, quite literally at that. Problem is that he is married. But I figure (for now) that its his problem.
I met a guy who might be interested in marrying me. Although I am yet to think that far.
I am enjoying my work.
I have not been shopping too much. So I must not be depressed either.
My mother is all set to visit me in a couple of weeks. And for a change, I am looking forward to it.

It makes me very uneasy.
Tide is going to turn very soon.